learning from the experience of being ghosted.

Have you ever experienced the pain and confusion of being left on ‘seen’? You’re not alone. Many interactions are frequently subject to ghosting. It makes sense why ghosting happens - it’s an opportune method to fade away into the background for whatever reason, or to deflect the responsibility of hurting someone’s feelings. You may have been ghosted or may have ghosted someone. In fact, according to a study run by PlentyOfFish, 80% of millennial singles have been ghosted. Although ghosting is becoming the new normal, it still sucks. It sucks because it is used as a way to avoid a difficult conversation. Amid the nuances of modern dating and friendship development, a lot of emotions are involved as they are bypassed or unacknowledged. For those who have experienced ghosting after a relationship has been established, it can resemble grief. 

 

 

There’s a lot to learn from being ghosted. The experience of nervousness, sadness, and confusion is a valuable one because it highlights how uncomfortable the experience is. Within this discomfort lies a lesson in being a better communicator, and a more empathetic person, sometimes for no other reason than to be the bigger person. Being ghosted can prompt many questions - calling into question one's own value, a lack of closure as to why the relationship ended, where you might have gone wrong and more. It’s an all-round unsettling feeling. However, the responsibility of ghosting another person lies solely on the one participating in the behaviour. It’s an opportunity to reflect and refine our own communication styles, but not the time to beat ourselves up. Everyone is deserving of healthy relationships, even when they are ending.

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“Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.”