should we be taught how to choose a partner?
Life is a game of choices. Some of them are hard, some easy.
Choices like what to wear today. Coffee with one shot, or two? Who we love. What to do when maybe it’s not going as you imagined it would.
Falling in love is one of life’s most wonderful feelings. But at some point, love becomes a choice. While we often can’t choose who exactly garners our affection, after that, there is a ~ leap of faith ~ when you decide to explore a relationship further.
Choosing to invest your time and energy in getting to know a person, valuing the relationship above your partner’s eccentricities - these are all, whether made consciously or unconsciously, choices we make.
“It's quite an undertaking to start loving somebody. You have to have energy, generosity, blindness. There is even a moment right at the start where you have to jump across an abyss: if you think about it you don't do it.”
― Jean-Paul Sartre, Nausea
If you think about it you don’t do it. But falling in love is one choice that can profoundly affect our lives.
“Society is structured to distract people from the decisions that have a huge impact on happiness in order to focus attention on the decisions that have a marginal impact on happiness. The most important decision any of us make is who we marry, yet there are no courses on how to choose a spouse.”
― David Brooks, Columnist, The New York Times
Studies have shown that intimate relationships can:
Help reduce stress,
Counter feelings of loneliness,
Benefit mental health,
Lead to a better sex lfie,
And much more.
These health benefits have flow on effects to other elements of our lives, such as our careers. For example, people with strong relationships tend to be more creative, and more satisfied with their jobs.
Who we choose to spend time with in our life matters. How do you choose?
"Choosing a partner is choosing a set of problems. There are no problem-free candidates."
- Carol Dweck